Lifestyle// Talking Mental Health

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              Hey lovelies,
I've been starring at this blank page for a while now. I know exactly what I want to write but my heartbeat continues to speed up knowing that I actually plan on publishing this post for all the interweb to see. Hello, I'm Vanese, I am 19 years old and have the biggest love for cats, meeting new people and am forever attempting the world record of how many pizza slices I can consume within 24 hours. Aside from those fun facts, I also suffer with anxiety and panic disorder which aren't so fun.

I was inspired by the latest Jacksgap video on mental health to talk about my own mental health. This honestly is something I'd never talk about because there is a stigma surrounding mental health, which honestly needs to change. I feel like one of the luckiest people because I am surrounded by amazing and supportive family and friends who make me feel comfortable enough to be able to talk about my own mental health. 

I've always been a type of person to over worry about different situations but it wasn't really a problem as such when I was younger. That all changed around three years ago when my levels of anxiety started to become quite high and that led onto me experiencing my first panic attack. I may not remember much about the situation but I'll never be able to forget how I felt in that moment. I remember feeling really embarrassed about experiencing my first panic attack and feeling really anxious about the possibility of another one occurring. I thought by just hiding out in bed that everything would be fine, when in fact everything started to become unbearable. Luckily, with the amazing support from my mum and sisters, I booked an appointment at my local doctors and I was told I was suffering from panic disorder. I know that me feeling anxious brings on my panic attacks from time to time but I still do struggle to work out what else causes them to happen. 

I was lucky enough to have a GP who I felt really comfortable to talk to. She suggested that I have some therapy sessions to help me try to take control of my anxiety and panic attacks. At first I was really embarrassed that I was having therapy but it's honestly nothing to be ashamed of and I can't describe how much it has changed my life. I can't lie and say that everything is fine now because it isn't always like that. Coming to university was pretty difficult as I am in new surroundings and suffering with panic attacks and anxiety when I'd just started made things quite difficult but I am honestly surrounded by some incredible people who I have no shame in telling them when I'm feeling quite anxious or the symptoms of a panic attack start to come on. 

I have since finished my therapy sessions and they really have changed my life. I have learnt things that'll be able to help me even in the toughest of times. I won't lie and say that there aren't times when it isn't really tough, but honestly it does get better. I am in such a better position than I was three years ago. It takes time but I've found that by just talking about how I'm feeling has helped a lot. Whether you suffer with anxiety, panic attacks or any other form of mental health it is nothing to be ashamed of. It in no way defines us as a person. I wanted to write this post because at one point I was ashamed but I am now the complete opposite to that. I want people to know that this is real life and it's absolutely fine to talk about. Statistics show that 1 in 4 people in the UK will suffer a mental health problem each year. It's 2015, it's time to start talking about mental health. 



Fashion// OOTD: All I Wanted Was You.

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    Hey beauts, 
My first post of 2015 and not to mention my first ever outfit post since moving to University in September. Me & Ally have found some of the most perfect places to take our pictures from now on, so expect more. The first Uni semester has come to an end and the second one starts in just under a week. I am honestly loving every minute of it and have met some incredible people *shoutout to le housemates & PR girls especially ;)*
Top - Depop/ Jeans - Topshop/ Coat - New Look/ Boots - River Island/ Fedora - Primark/ Backpack -Next/ Lips - Chanel - Rouge Allure Velvet '46 La Malicieuse' 

A lot has changed for me since coming to uni, including my personal style. A few months ago you wouldn't have caught me in a pair of trousers, let alone jeans. I'm unsure on what changed my mind but I absolutely love jeans now. Being a new found jeans lover - I of course had to get my hands on a pair of Topshop Joni Jeans which are so incredibly comfy. The rips add a little something extra which I really like but being 5'2" they drop down on me quite a lot. :( #shortgirlproblems I got this floral top months ago from Depop and it's my favourite to pair with jeans.

I've featured my favourite pink jacket on here many times... It continues to basically be paired with my whole wardrobe. The boots are a new purchase from the River Island sales. I haven't been too in love with much clothing from the sales but when I saw these boots in store, chilling on the shelf and only in my size, I knew it had to be a sign from Carrie Bradshaw that I had to snap them up. Otherwise it'd be a decision I'd live to regret. Luckily I made a good choice and they are now apart of my ever growing footwear collection. I've been working at Next since November and as soon as I saw this backpack while putting out the accessories for the sale, I knew it wouldn't be long until I could call it mine. I am literally so obsessed with it. I am also learning that it's okay to throw a fedora on with an outfit to make it 10x more sassy. Lastly, I have welcomed my very first Chanel lipstick to my lipstick collection, I really like the colour and think it's great to go with any casual everyday outfit. 

Have you picked up anything good recently in the sales?

Song In Title: Paramore - All I Wanted